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Leaf Image Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships


You may be in an abusive relationship if he or she:

bullet Is jealous or possessive toward you.
(Jealousy is the primary symptom of abusive relationships; it is also a core component of Sexual Addictions and Love Addiction.)
bullet Tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
bullet Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
bullet Is violent and / or loses his or her temper quickly.
bullet Pressures you sexually, demands sexual activities you are not comfortable with.
bullet Abuses drugs or alcohol.
bullet Claims you are responsible for his or her emotional state. (This is a core diagnostic criteria for Codependency.)
bullet Blames you when he or she mistreats you.
bullet Has a history of bad relationships.
bullet Your family and friends have warned you about the person or told you that they are concerned for your safety or emotional well being.
bullet You frequently worry about how he or she will react to things you say or do.
bullet Makes "jokes" that shame, humiliate, demean or embarrass you, weather privately or around family and friends.
bullet Your partner grew up witnessing an abusive parental relationship, and/or was abused as a child.
bullet Your partner "rages" when they feel hurt, shame, fear or loss of control.
bullet Both parties in abusive relationships may develop or progress in drug or alcohol dependence in a (dysfunctional) attempt to cope with the pain.
bullet You leave and then return to your partner repeatedly, against the advice of your friends, family and loved ones.  
bullet You have trouble ending the relationship, even though you know inside it's the right thing to do.  

Does the person you love...

• constantly keep track of your time?

• act jealous and possessive?

• accuse you of being unfaithful or flirting?

• discourage your relationships with friends and family?

• prevent or discourage you from working, interacting with friends or attending school?

• constantly criticize or belittle you?

• control all finances and force you to account for what you spend? (Reasonable cooperative budgeting excepted.)

• humiliate you in front of others? (Including "jokes" at your expense.)

• destroy or take your personal property or sentimental items?

• have affairs?

• threaten to hurt you, your children or pets? Threaten to use a weapon?

• push, hit, slap, punch, kick, or bite you or your children?

• force you to have sex against your will, or demand sexual acts you are uncomfortable with?

What to do if this sounds familiar:

You may wish to read the characteristics of healthy and abusive relationships page.

If  you feel you are in an abusive relationship read how to handle it here.





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Note on Authorship: this website was created by a recovering addict and survivor; I am not a chemical dependency therapist or mental health professional. Except as otherwise cited, opinions offered here are the result of my own life experience and a great deal of reading in the Recovery and Mental Health fields.  You may cite this site for academic reference, however in keeping with twelve step traditions regarding anonymity I request you identify the author as "Will H. - Webmaster" 

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