About Love Addiction

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Love Addiction consists of three components: Romance, Relationship and Sexual Addiction.

Love addiction is often perceived to be "less serious" than other process addictions i.e. compulsive sexual addictions, eating disorders or self-harm / mutilation addictions. Perhaps because it sounds "softer." In reality it is extremely painful and can be very dangerous to both the addict and their partners. Many suicides, murders, stalkings, rapes and other crimes of passion have their roots in this addiction. Our culture has traditionally glorified love addiction with the notion that we fall in love and live "happily ever after." This ignores the groundwork that relationships require. Many love relationships depicted in the media are really love addicted relationships. (See Romeo and Juliet as an example - not a very happy ending, huh?)

The St Augustine Fellowship can be contacted online for meeting locations etc.

Signs and Characteristics of Love Addiction:

Lack of nurturing and attention when young
Feeling isolated, detached from parents and family
Compartmentalization of relationships from other areas of life
Outer facade of "having it all together" to hide internal disintegration
Mistake intensity for intimacy (drama driven relationships)
Hidden Pain
Seek to avoid rejection and abandonment at any cost
Afraid to trust anyone in a relationship
Inner rage over lack of nurturing, early abandonment
Depressed
Highly manipulative and controlling of others
Perceive attraction, attachment, and sex as basic human needs, on a par with food and water
Sense of worthlessness without a relationship or partner
Feelings that a relationship makes one whole, or more of a man or woman
Escalating tolerance for high-risk behavior
Intense need to control self, others, circumstances
Presence of other addictive or compulsive problems
Insatiable appetite in area of difficulty (sex, love or attachment / need.)
Using others, sex & relationships to alter mood or relieve emotional pain
Continual questioning of values and lifestyle
Driven, desperate, frantic personality
Confusion of sexual attraction with love ("Love" at first sight.)
Tendency to trade sexual activity for "love" or attachment
Existence of a secret "double life"
Refusal to acknowledge existence of problem
Defining out-of-control behavior as normal
Defining "wants" as "needs"
Tendency to leave one relationship for another. (Inability to be without a relationship.)
Attempts to replace lost relationships with a new one immediately

Many of these symptoms are also elements of codependency and intimacy dsyfunctions resulting from childhood abandonment, emotional and / or sexual abuse. For this reason treatment and therapy for Love Addiction often includes trauma recovery work. Read what others have to say about love addiction.

	If the things in the list above sound familiar to you I highly recommend Pia Melody's book Facing Love Addiction. Love addiction responds to treatment and / or therapy with a practitioner knowledgeable in its effects and origins. Several treatment centers now offer Love Addiction treatment. A 12 step program called SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) can also be helpful.
	Another book to try is John Moore's - Confusing Love with Obsession.

Love addiction is frequently a component for both partners in abusive relationships.

* This is also a core component of sexual addictions.

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Updated: 01/08/2008