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Recovery from Codependency is deep work based on shifting our relationship with ourselves. We may have to let go If the people in our lives are unwilling to work through their issues. "Firing" the people we were codependent with may be a part of that, but remember - codependency is about us, not them! Recovery from codependency involves learning to take responsibility for our own actions, feelings behavior, issues and lives.
Codependents have as much difficulty accepting their powerlessness over people and events as alcoholics / addicts have regarding their powerlessness over their drug of choice. (Many treatment modalities approach codependency as an addiction to control and / or caretaking.) Ongoing therapy and a twelve step program (CODA meetings) are highly advised. Melody Beattie's Codependent No More is recommended reading, as is her book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting go of the need to control people, places and events is difficult, but will ultimately set us free of our self-defeating patterns, shame and fear. The investment in caretaking / control take a lot of our energy - letting that go frees our energy for more productive uses.
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Updated: 11/15/2007
